What do you really want?

I have been asked this question umpteen number of times and I keep getting asked this question by many people, from many walks of life, at different points of time in life, at different places in geography.

So, I would like you to ask this question once again - "What do you want?", more importantly, "What do you really want?"

In many a situation, I did not have any time to think how to answer, what to answer and what really I need or I want.

The answer to the question was given by me:

1. In the spur of the moment,

2. In the heat of the most active disturbing thing at that point in life

3. The most craving I had at that particular instant or time lapse

4. What people around me wanted "me" to have

The answers to this question were mostly "materialistic" - like from a TV, Car, a job, an iPhone, a girlfriend, etc.

But what did I "really", "really" want?? That was not realized by me in most situations and I am damn sure if one you my friends were asked this question to you in

1. Different times of the day

2. Different situations in your life

3. Different places in geography

all your answers would differ. And another most important fact to note is -

"Is our answer really the answer that we would be answering if asked to us by GOD himself?"

If you my friends were asked this same question, what would your answers be and how they would differ. The whole spectrum of materialistic things would be covered I am sure.

We are very stunted in our view and our vision is very myopic. This is where we need to change, this is where I need to change.

Listing our short, medium and long-term goals would probably be an analytical approach for practical thinkers - especially for engineers, managers and the scientific lot.

1. Do you want a place in the history pages as a great person?

2. Do you want happiness in your personal life?

3. Do you want professional achievements to be showcased on a world stage?

The answers may vary from person to person depending on what they want. Also, I recognize that small kids are asked this question very often - "what do you want?"

Their answers vary from a chocolate, candy, some favorite toy to more profound ones like

"I want my dad to be with me for christmas or my birthday?"

The level of maturity varies for all - from tiny tots to grey-haired seniors.

So, how do we go about working on the answer to this question?

1. Random thoughts need to be channelized

2. We should work on our shortcomings

3. Set definite small, mid, long-term goals

4. Focus on small term goals and start working on how to achieve them

So, I started thinking in not only materialistic terms and philosophical terms and started to think more about how to answer this question when my next GOD appeared.

Once my GOD appears one last time, I want to be prepared with the answer.

My final answer being - "NOTHING"

I would ask all my friends to dwell on why I approached at this answer and how beautiful your small world will become when you stick to this answer.

Conflict Resolution Tips For Self

We as a society keep facing conflicts in our daily life - be it in family, at work or other places. How we handle those conflicts defines who we are and how successful we will be in our career, family and helps our overall well-being.

So, what is a conflict? - Conflict is defined as an unavoidable aspect of everyday life. First thing to note here is that you were or will always find yourself in a situation of "Conflict". It is unavoidable.

The first step to solving a problem is to acknowledge the fact that there is a problem. How many of us do this - most of us don't, including me :)

The second step to solve a problem is to do a root-cause analysis: what, why and how these  conflicts arise and see ourselves as the core of the situation or as a supplant or a catalyst to a chemical reaction.

Talking of chemical reactions, conflicts are like an excited state where electrons jump from their normal orbital state to a higher state.

We also taken over by emotions succumb to the pressures and to our scheming mind to cause a chemical reaction in our mind and body to have rush of blood - called high blood pressure.

We need to calm down and come back to our normal self - so, how to achieve this? We need to calm ourselves down by repeatedly telling that "All Is Well" or some such oft quoted quotations which come in handy for situations like these.

Become the Zen master keeping the Yin and Yang in balance and keep our cool and not react immediately.

Then, how to keep our cool? How not to react immediately?
Keep reading your thoughts and dwell on why things are happening the way they are - see the things not from your side but from an outsider's perspective, meaning, understanding what the other person thinks of you will help you understand yourself better.

At first, the above statement doesn't make any sense - not to me or any of my "common" friends, who, are just common, not Zen-like.

How to get to a state of understanding? I guess one way to do it is to practice - by making mistakes? Yes, may be!!!

One will learn only by practice - a wise man once said, the only way to start defending yourself is to take the first hit on the jawbone, then, anticipate. Meditate, keep a journal - like a blog or diary!!

Once you master the moves of your opponent - in any game, life, career, you will be better able to avoid them.

Is avoiding the only solution? No, there are several ways of resolving a conflict - some of them are best defined in this article link - http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newLDR_81.htm

The article talks about conflicts in the workplace, which is a good start. But the basic principles of Science can be applied to any area of life.

When the Physics, Chemistry and the Biology are all in co-ordination, you will reach a calm state of being - Happy "Con"-"flicting", Cheers!!!



 

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